I soak with sweat as I wander around the fritura stands, hoping to find something that’ll keep my stomach occupied as much as my brain is. I settle for grabbing a pionono, a bacalaito, and a coco frío. The vendor takes my cash, hands me a coconut with a straw stabbed in it, and dumps a set of rolls of ground beef wrapped in plantain strips into an oil barrel. The surface comes alive, bubbling and splashing. There are a couple of rows of bacalaitos as big as my face hanging up to dry from a clothesline, oil dripping on the hot dry sand. They never have enough cod fish in them, but the flavor is unbelievable. While I wait for my order to finish, my eyes slide over to the open air bar playing reggaetón, everyone just relaxing, dancing with beers in their hands. The sun hates feeling left out, so it shines bright enough to never let you forget it. Families and friends walk up and down the road, eventually making their way to the beach. My order’s done, so I grab my food and meander over to the seaside.
Finding a spot under a tree away from the crowd, I have a seat. The paper towels covering my food are soaked. The cool sea breeze finally brushes off enough of my sweat to feel like a t-shirt in a rinse cycle: Clean, refreshed, and dizzy. It’s not like I’m going to turn down the offer. Scam or not, it’s worth a try. I don’t trust that the work is going to be completely straight, either. If I die on the job, it’ll be an interesting death for sure. And I’ll get paid enough to make my life decent until I get there. I hear the flip flop of sandals approach me. The rhythm of the cadence alone could make me dance, if I wasn’t already so deep in thought.
“It’s good to see you,” I smile at Josemarie.
Josemarie slides onto her back and starts licking one of those cartoon character ice creams where the eyes are set all wrong and the colors are offset. “I just saw you this morning,” she laughs.
“Still...” I space out. Despite the crowds and the music, it’s relatively quiet here. I’ve pretty much finished my lunch by now, and I’m just idly rolling the coconut back and forth. I hold the coconut up in the air, lining it up with the sun. I tilt my head a little and say, not very loudly, “I think...I’m about to join a mafia.”
Josemarie chokes on her ice cream and sits bolt upright, coughing. She pounds her chest with her free hand to clear her throat. “Sorry, what?! What was that?? You’re joining a...”
“Mafia,” I finish.
“There’s no...we don’t have..really?” She’s leaning towards me, concerned.
“Three times my current wage, free healthcare, four weeks of PTO, and as many sick days as I need.”
Josemarie jerks back and squints at me. “What kind of work we talkin’ about here? Who’s gettin’ murdered?”
“No one...I think? It’s...a job I didn’t know existed, for a skillset I didn’t know I had.” I stare post the ground, frowning.
“Then it’s a scam,” she scowls.
“Right? That’s what I think too,” I agreed, shaking my head. “But...”
“But...?”
“I don’t I’m being lied to. But I don’t think I have the full picture, either. Can’t afford a lawyer to see whether this contract’s worth what it says, either. I could have healthcare. My own room. Hell, if I’m feeling frisky I might even get a bistec in Condado.”
Josemarie laughs. “Whoa there, you’re getting mighty hopeful. Looking forward to tomorrow in a way you haven’t in a while.” Josemarie leans back and stares at the sea. “I’m happy for you. I hope it works out.” Josemarie cups a handful of sand and fidgets with it. “I do think you should have some backup on hand, though. Just until you know what you’re in for.”
I tilt my head curiously. “Did you have someone in mind?”
She gives me a sheepish grimace. She glances away, then back again.
I sit bolt upright. “No...you’re not thinking of –”
Josemarie smirks at me, nodding. “I mean, you know the name your employer goes by, right? We’ll know how dangerous this is by name-dropping her to Cañona.”
I am. Physically uncomfortable. I hate that I think she’s right. “Wait,” I start. “how do you still even have her contact info? She answers you? She doesn’t have patience for anyone.”
Josemarie shrugs. “I know how to make her laugh. Best case she ignores the name. Worst case she blows up your new workplace.”
I sigh. I don’t know. I just don’t know. I would feel better having someone that can get me out of the situation if it ends up being a farce, though. That girl Araceli really looked like she could throw down, and I could tell Doña Pantalla knows a lot. Way more than anyone around here. As I’m thinking through the various possibilities and worrying about the potential consequences of each, I’m finally snapped out of it when I hear Josemarie again.
“Hey, do you know a Doña Pantalla?” she asks, speaking to a AA battery she’s holding in the palm of her hand.
“Josemarie!” I shout, panicking. But I’m already too late. I hear a glitching sound and a small screen floats above the battery.
“No.” a robotic voice responded. A simple unamused ASCII face displayed on the screen.
“Oh?” Josemarie responds, giving me a sly look. “I guess it doesn’t matter then. A friend of mine was going to meet her, but whatever.”
An autotuned screeching sounds off, and the display changes: (งಠoಠ)ง !!! There’s a bit of coughing before Cañona clears her throat and finally speaks. The display changes to a more mischevious look: (￢‿￢ ). “Eyyyy mi pana,” a friendly distorted voice says. “You’ve gotten Doña’s attention, hm? I can see why you’ve come to me. You want uhhhh...”
“Protection,” Josemarie finishes.
“Right! Yeah, that. Just borrow this battery here and hang onto it until you see her. Shouldn’t be a big deal to keep you safe.” I hear some sinister giggling in the background. I’m sure that’s a good sign, right? Obviously a good sign. The screen fizzles out. First day at this job will be memorable, that’s for sure.
“Worse comes to worse you just duck out under the crossfire, yeah?” Josemarie jokes. “...you still have something on your mind.”
Job. New job. Shit. “I still don’t know what I’m going to tell Sergio,” I think aloud. ...I’m sure they’ll understand...
“Aw, it’ll be fine. They’ll recover in no time, no need to worry about that. C’mere.” Josemarie pats the sand next to her. “Watch the sea with me. Let’s see if we can empty that busy brain of yours, at least for a moment.”
I shuffle over and lay on Josemarie’s shoulder and watch the waves flow. I should be happier about this, honestly. Really shouldn’t be assuming that this is going to end badly, and yet.
Next